My Elective C-Section Journey

My Elective C-Section Journey

Hello! My name is Hayley and I am 27 years old. I have just had my first (& probably only) Child. He was born at 39 weeks and 1 day by elective C-Section.

I am writing this to help other anxious mothers to be who are wanting an elective c section. My reasons were personal and all stemmed from a previous, violent and controlling relationship. The long and short of it was that I ended up feeling ‘dirty’ downstairs so to speak, which put me off ever wanting babies and the thought of having a vaginal delivery was extremely hard to get my head around. Plus, all of the extra hormones cursing through my body brought a lot of painful, unwanted memories back to life.

Not to mention, pretty much from week 3 I was suffering badly with Sciatica and spent almost 3 months on the floor unable to move and I was off sick from work for a very long time! My cat has a Facebook account now, I was that bored!

So, it begins. I found out I was pregnant, boxing day 2012 and feeling extremely hung-over after Christmas day drinking but yet felt very different... Sent the other half out for pregnancy tests, did 3 of them and couldn’t believe my eyes.

I requested the need for a c-section in my first midwife appointment and she requested an appointment for me to see the Consultant at our hospital, which was booked in for week 26 of my pregnancy. In the meantime, I was a regular at the Physio and using crutches to walk. My physio knew of my request and she became part of my care and support network throughout.

I saw the consultant on a regular basis, at most his clinics. In there he told me things like, “I would be fine.” “Nothing would happen.” “You will make a fantastic Mother.” “My wife and I have 2 children, I know you can deliver naturally!”

Quite frankly, these things he was saying, didn’t make things better, if anything I was struggling massively with the fact I was pregnant and couldn’t stop crying. Life for my partner was hard, I know I made his life hard but it was hard for me to register! Anyway, after keeping my feet firmly on the ground with him, he asked if before my next appointment my Physio would take me around the labour ward and explain some of the options. The only other way I would deliver naturally would have been a guaranteed place in the birthing pool. (Because of the ‘dirty downstairs’ issues)

So, armed with an “I am prepared to do this, if this, this and this happens!” I went to see the consultant the following week to be told, I couldn’t be guaranteed a place in the birthing pool because of possible complications, if any were to happen when I went into labour, i.e if the baby had a poo whilst I was in labour I would have had to get out of the pool.

So, I freaked out and advised I couldn’t do it, yet he still thought I could and then referred me to the Perinatal Mental Health Team, where I met with Jenny, who managed to break down walls and we had a very good, teary talk about what had happened in the past and I was diagnosed with ‘Tokophobia’ “Secondary tokophobia is due to previous experience of traumatic birth, poor obstetric practice or medical attention, postpartum depression or other such upsetting events.” Click here for more information.

At this point, I was 35 weeks and 4 days pregnant and still couldn’t relax, at all. All I did was panic and I worried about every stronger movement in my stomach, I thought “Oh god, don’t go into labour yet!” I just physically couldn’t have gone through with it.

Jenny was wonderful throughout the whole experience and she quickly got the ball moving. The following week I went to see the head midwife at the hospital and we met in a meeting room and the midwife was already told about everything Jenny and I had spoken about so I didn’t have to repeat the same story over and over and constantly get upset about things. After about a 2 hour talk and the midwife genuinely seeing my fears, she agreed that the Elective C-Section would be the best choice for my care and would write a letter to ensure the consultant saw it at my appointment the next morning. The midwife also offered to be there with me, if I needed her, but Jenny being the star that she was rushed like a maniac from an appointment to be by my side.

My elective C-Section was finally approved when I was 36 weeks and 5 days pregnant, which meant after all that I could finally relax. Got things together for my arrival. I literally had a few outfits and my parents bought us a pram. I then started nesting, to an OCD point of “I’ll just do this!” At 4am!

Picture inserted - Me and Thomas bump @ 38 weeks and 5 days. Almost ready for surgery.

 Twitter @hayley_lou3686